Sunday, December 28, 2014

Inquiry: January 8 Invitation

Just a reminder that our Contemplative Dialogue Community of Practice will gather on Thursday, January 8, at 6:30 p.m.  We invite you to arrive a little early to meet, greet and settle in!  As always, we will gather in the sacred space above Trader Joe's in Hillcrest (1090 University Ave. Loft 202B).  We will begin our practice promptly at 6:30 and conclude at 8:00.

We will continue to explore the topic of Advocacy, introduced in December, as well as learn how Inquiry helps us to listen, understand and dialogue about ideas, issues, and values that may be dear to you and me.  What great topics to end 2014 and begin 2015!  

Please take time to review the Dialogue Skills and Glossary terms highlighted in the attached document (p 19: Dialogue Skills #1 through 4;  pp 34-35: definitions of Advocacy and Inquiry).

Whether or not we make formal New Year’s resolutions, Contemplative Dialogue calls us each day to slow down and notice what is happening around us.  Questions to consider for the new year:
  • How do I want to approach people?
  • How do I choose to present my ideas and positions?
  • How can I invite others into a dialogue over these ideas?
  • How can I listen to new ideas and allow an environment of relationships and change?

We encourage you to visit the CDSD  blog (http://contemplativedialoguesd.blogspot.com).  New posts will be submitted as we explore Advocacy and Inquiry, and your comments and continued reflections are always welcome!




As 2014 ends and 2015 arrives, blessings and peace to you and your loved ones!





Namasté,

Annette, Michael and Larry


 

Friday, December 5, 2014

Advocacy: Learning to Hold a Position Lightly

What power and insight when combining advocacy with inquiry!  To be able to "invite others into your viewpoint and let them explore and try to understand it."  You mean I don't have to bash people over the head with MY way of thinking?!!

Through the movement from individual thoughts and actions to a communal dialogue, we have an opportunity to express our deepest-held values, ideas, and worldviews... and to listen to another perspective.  We can explore with others why these values and positions are important - to me, to you, and to us.  Through this process, I can be drawn into a deeper discovery of who I am in the world; I can hear about and explore the values and positions of others; and we can build relationships...together.  Just think about the possibilities of holding onto "me" and learning to become "we"!

General questions for reflection:
  • When do I hold onto a position, not letting it go?  Why do I hold on?
  • When do I offer my thoughts to others so we can explore and grow?
  • When do I hold the ideas so lightly that the gentle breezes of community, friendship and trust allow the position to become free, to move, and to shape new realities?


Specific questions this holiday season:
  • What images of Christmas do I hold onto?
  • When do I explore with others our various traditions of "holiday"?
  • When do these holiday celebrations become "holy-days" because we have invited the sacred within one another to bless our thoughts, memories, and well wishes?

Advocating our positions - lightly - and allowing us to explore our shared and different perspectives will broaden our understanding.  It is in this movement that we can offer "Peace and Good Will to All!"


Larry Gardepie

Advocacy: December 11 Invitation

Dear Friends,

Just a reminder that our Contemplative Dialogue Community of Practice will gather on Thursday, December 11, at 6:30 p.m.  We invite you to arrive a little early to meet, greet and settle in!  As always, we will gather in the sacred space above Trader Joe's in Hillcrest (1090 University Ave. Loft 202B).  We will begin our practice promptly at 6:30 and conclude at 8:00.

Annette and Larry will begin the discussion on “Advocacy and Inquiry”  during this December gathering, and the topic will continue into the new year.

Over the next few days, please take time to review the Dialogue Skills and Glossary terms (p 19: Dialogue Skills #1 through 4;  pp 34-35: definitions of Advocacy and Inquiry).

As we move into this holiday season, let’s be reminded to slow down, reflect, and notice:
  • When do I feel rushed and stressed?
  • When do I  feel peace and comfort?
  • What are my filters around these holidays?
  • What images do I carry with me about these holidays

Advocacy
Putting forth my position or belief, and holding it lightly.

Inquiry
Exploring another's opinion or position by asking questions and listening.



REMINDER
Please spread the word that Jean Holsten will be facilitating the next San Diego 4-Day CD workshop:  Friday, February 13, through Monday, February 16.  Annette has postcards to help get out the word, plus the SD CD website has more information:  http://www.dialoguesd.com/.  This could be the time to share the gift of Contemplative Dialogue with colleagues, friends, and family members.



Namasté,


Larry, Annette, Michael

Monday, November 10, 2014

Noticing Your Impact: It Happens... Now What?

Busyness is a fact of life!  So, too, are the impacts we have on one another.  Impact happens!

The questions I have been posing to myself recently:
  • When do I not slow down to notice what is happening around me?
  • Why do I not want to notice the impact I have on others?
Contemplative Dialogue provides an opportunity to balance the priorities in our lives.  And I am learning that noticing my impact on others needs to become a priority!


 Looking back, what do we recall from 9/11/01?  Is it the impact of terrorism caused by planes crashing, buildings collapsing, and fear gripping our lives?  Or do we remember the images of first responders risking their lives, the helping professionals saving lives, and countless people reaching out and comforting?  I wonder why we have allowed the impact of terrorism to change our lives in a harsh and negative way but the impact of goodness has had a much softer effect.  Both impacts are present, but which do I choose to remember and allow to influence my future actions?

Looking back, I recall when I attended my first 4-day CD workshop.  I was so energized by the people who had touched my life.  But soon, the busyness of my life took over and I didn't continue the self-exploration.  The immediate impact was short-lived.  It wasn't until we started meeting as a Community of Practice that I began to study, explore, and notice your impact on me.

As I move forward, I am learning that it is the interrelationships in society that challenge me to notice and grow.  The relationships are not about work and busyness but about common unity (community).  I have a choice in how I look at my impact on others and their impact on me.  It is about the journey toward self- and common-exploration.


Larry Gardepie




Sunday, October 19, 2014

Noticing Your Impact: Far Reaching

Noticing Impact...

What I have noticed as I have contemplated "noticing our impact" is simply that we do impact others, whether we believe that we do, and whether we are conscious of it. Our presence in the world has far reaching consequences, regardless of the circumstances.

Circumstances vary. Our responses to them effect the impact.
How we speak to ourselves when we make a mistake...
How we react to a situation on the freeway...
How we speak to a perceived enemy or adversary...
How we represent our selves on Facebook...
How we discuss hot topics in meetings, church gatherings, and sitting at the coffee shop...
How we speak to a beloved...

What we might reconsider is the reality that who we are, what we say, and how we relate to others impacts others and ourselves. We might never know what the impact is, we just might want to be aware that an impact is in process.

Earth, water, air, light and spirit all impact our environment. We are made of these very elements. If both of these ideas are true, then wouldn't it also be true that we have far-reaching and elemental impact of all whom we encounter?

I wonder how we would walk through a day in our lives if we knew, really carried the knowing that we have an impact on the world, and that the world is impacting us. Would it change how we show up, moment-by-moment?

Michael Tompkins, IHM



Noticing Your Impact: Introduction


The goal of noticing is to observe without judgment, analysis or thought. 
Taking time to notice what you are experiencing in the present moment is a basic and fundamental dialogue skill. We are reminded to take a deep breath and to pay attention to all of our senses before we begin to engage in any important conversation. Quieting the mind and being anchored to our inner resources makes it possible to stay calm in the eye of the storm - even in the most difficult conversations.

The following questions can help us to be more open and aware in a dialogue:
  • What is the temperature?
  • How bright is the lighting?
  • Are my hands cold?
  • Are my feet warm?
  • What do I smell?
  • Do I notice random thoughts floating through my mind?
  • Am I feeling any specific emotions?
  • Am I feeling relaxed or tense?
  • How does it feel to be supported by my chair?
  • What sounds can I hear?

Notice Your Impact

We will continue our review of the seven practices that serve as a "mindfulness checklist."  The Dialogue Skills are the work of organizational psychologist Chris Argyris and his colleagues. Building on our own "noticing," we will focus on Practice #6: Notice your own impact on a situation. Argyris invites us to Notice and check out the possible ways in which our different roles or communication styles affect the dialogue process. Sometimes we communicate with others as though we all share the same map—and the same world—and we don't slow down and look at how our mental models and mental maps are influencing our own thinking or impacting the experience of others. We invite you to take time over the next few days to slow down, reflect, and notice your impact -- or the impact that others may have -- on a situation.
 

Monday, September 8, 2014

Noticing: Stand Still

Lost



Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you
Are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here,
And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,
Must ask permission to know it and be known. 
The forest breathes. Listen. It answers,
I have made this place for you.
If you leave it, you may come back again, saying Here.
No two trees are the same to Raven.
No two branches are the same to Wren.
If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,
You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows
Where you are. You must let it find you.

David Wagoner

I have always loved to walk in the woods. There is a world of life and spontaneity that exists all around me, independent from my knowledge and awareness. Wagoner invites us to be still, let down our guard and simply be in the presence of this other life. It's not a garden, but a forest. It's perfection is not in symmetry. Nobody takes down the ruined trunk or plants a new sapling, or straighten ups nature's mess. "Here" is a "powerful stranger" and awaits being in relationship - broken and shattered stand beside the enduring and strong. "Stand still. The forest knows where you are."

I love being given the permission to quiet my monkey mind, focus my racing heart and open wide my eyes. Our minds are engineered to seek out patterns and to assign meaning to them. When I look at a person, I don't really see that person, I only think that I do. What I am seeing is something that I have fixed in my mind. I get an impression and I hold onto that impression and I keep looking at that impression. I do this with almost everything. I am going to practice standing still and ask permission to "know it and be known." 








Posted by Annette Schmeling, RSCJ

Friday, August 22, 2014

Noticing: What Do I Choose To Notice?

Special thanks to Baby Blues' creators Rick Kirkman and Jerry Scott for their August 22, 2014 comic strip (http://www.babyblues.com/archive/index.php?formname=getstrip&GoToDay=08/22/2014):

(Click on image to enlarge)

After laughing through this comic strip, I reflected throughout the day about what I choose to notice.  What filters are in place -- or filters I allow to stay in place -- which create my blind spots?  Where do I not notice what is important to other people?  What am I missing?

Noticing is one way to slow down and see differently:  the beauty of the world around us; the relationships that bind us; the positive aspects of our lives; the issues that divide us; and so many other moments throughout our day.

Over the past few months I have come to realize that noticing allows me to become more curious:
  • About who I am (visible personality and talents as well as hidden and mysterious corners);
  • Who you are (a new friend or a friend anew); and
  • Who I am in relation with another/Other.
Beginning this journey of noticing is not always easy.  There are too many distractions that get my attention, and sadly, keep me from seeing and experiencing you.   I have begun a new journey of noticing, learning the disciplined skill which will honor and respect the relationship of who we could become... together.  Please be patient with me, and point out to me what I have missed!

I will try not to notice that you were given one more "sprinkle" than me!  But, if I do notice the "one more," promise me that we will dialogue.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Noticing: Learning to Let Go

When no one listens to the quiet trees
When no one notices the sun in the pool
Where no one feels the first drop of rain
Or sees the last star
Or hails the last morning of a giant world
Where peace begins and rages end:

One bird sits still
Watching the work of God:
One turning leaf,
Two falling blossoms,
Ten circles upon the pond.

One cloud upon the hillside,
Two shadows in the valley
And the light strikes home.
                       ~Thomas Merton

Dear Community,
This bit of a poem by Thomas Merton speaks volumes to me. It may be the essence of 'noticing.'
It seems to be at the heart of the practice itself. There is nothing to do. It is not necessary to put oneself into a yoga pretzel position or to give oneself a backache sitting on a meditation cushion.
In and of themselves, they are wonderful places for noticing; however, they are not the necessary means to an end in the practice.

Let go of any rules, prescriptions and assumptions. Just, well, notice. And, don't make a big deal out of what you notice. Noticing unfolds, much like Thomas understood. Without trying, see where the practice of noticing takes you. Separate details and assumptions that are so easy to form in the mind!
Just, well, notice.

I was recently in San Francisco and then a rural area in Northern California. Here are some of my noticings:
Two pigeons sitting atop a billboard on Market Street.
A middle-aged and ragged-looking man stood in the doorway of a small diner, drew in a long drag on his cigarette, and exiled the smoke into the restaurant while smiling.
While mama deer skitted away, a fawn stood still, noticing.
Desire to finish things that can never be finished.
"Letting go" welcomes spaces, sometimes welcomed spaces.
When meditating, if you can let yourself think your thoughts and feel your emotions, the mind and body find their way toward Silence, Breath, and Beyond. Isn't the same true while noticing?

Finally, when we say "I notice," WHO is the "I?"



We practice alone yet together.
Namaste,
Michael Tompkins, IHM

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Noticing: An Invitation to Practice

From August 14, 2014:  Our most recent San Diego Contemplative Dialogue gathering ("Community of Practice") focused on "noticing."  The invitation or "homework" for this next month is to notice and share little items or events that you spot on the way to work, doing dishes, riding your bike, walking in the woods, kayaking with alligators...

Tell us the things that you notice:
  • strange little items or events
  • newly noticed aesthetic qualities of everyday items
  • any sort of epiphany or discovery
Start now:
  • What do you see?
  • What do you notice?
Respond directly to this blog post, or email us (dialoguesd@gmail.com).  Please, using your own discretion, note in your email if we can share your posting on the blog (with your name or anonymous).

Happy noticing!



Quote - Jane Goodall, primatologost, anthropologist, and author

You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you.  What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.




Thursday, August 14, 2014

Noticing: How to Take A Walk In The Woods


Adam Frank
National Public Radio


When was the last time you met someone who didn't tell you they were "crazy busy"? It seems like everyone these days is overwhelmed. From the endless tasks of maintaining home and family life to the ever-accelerating pressures of the endlessly troubled, endlessly competitive economy, it seems that all of us are running ragged.

In this permanent state of hyperventilation, the issue for us all is not stopping to smell roses. It's not even noticing that there are roses right there in front of us. Joseph Campbell, the great scholar of religion, hit the core of our problem when he wrote, "People say that what we're all seeking is a meaning for life. I don't think that's what we're really seeking. I think that what we're seeking is an experience of being alive."

But how can we experience "being alive" in the midst of the crushing urgencies that make up modern life?

Well, it might seem strange, but one answer to that question is "science," at least science with a lowercase "s." Science, you see, is all about noticing. This is where it begins, with simple act of catching seeing the smallest detail as an opening to a wider world of wonder and awe. And here is the good news. you don't need a particle accelerator or well-equiped genetics lab in your basement to practice noticing (that would be science with a capital "S").

You already are a scientist. You have been since you were a kid playing with water in the tub, or screwing around in the backyard with dirt and sticks and stuff.

If you want to rebuild your inner-scientist-noticing-skills, the best place to begin is with a walk in the woods.

There are lots of reasons to take a walk in the woods. To get away from it all, clear your head, smell the fresh air. The problem, or course, is that even if we get ourselves into a park or a forest, we might still be so lost in our heads that we miss what's right in front of us. Practicing noticing, like a scientist, can
change that by binding us to experience in ways that are thrilling, even in their ordinariness.

Noticing can take many forms. One trick is to count things. Scientists love to count stuff. How many trees are there on the sides of a steep hill compared with its crest? How many leaves are there on the stalks of the blue flowers compared to the yellow ones? How many different kinds of birdsong do you hear when you stop and listen, (by the way, this requires really stopping and really listening, which is awesome). Counting things forces you to pay attention to the sublets in the landscape, the plants, the critters.

Other things scientists love: shapes, colors, patterns. Do the rocks at the stream's edge look different from the ones near the trail? Do the big cattails have the same color as the small ones? Get your naturalist on and bring a notebook. Pretend you are Henry David Thoreau or John Muir. Jot down your findings, make little drawings and always, always ask yourself those basic questions: why, how, and when?

You don't need the answers. As the poet Rilke once said, "Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language." Questions raise our pulse and sharpen our delight.

Noticing need not be a passive activity. Remember the words of the great scientist Ms. Frizzle (of The Magic School Bus), "Take changes, make mistakes, get messy." Who needs a gym when you can climb the steep face of a hill? Hoisting yourself up a tree is a great way to notice the trees, the branches and the roots. Sure, most of us won't be emulating John Muir, riding out a Yosemite thunderstorm in the crest of wildly swaying Douglas fir. Still, we might climb a few low-hanging branches, forcing ourselves into questions like: "Why do the big limbs give way to narrow branches?" or "Exactly where on the branch do the leaves start to grow?" and of course, "How the hell do I get down from here?"

I am not a biologist, geologist or plant physiologist, so I am as clueless as the next guy when I get out in the woods. But these science tricks for noticing help me focus my attention and keep me present. And that's what it's all about: presence.

Refining our capacity to notice is an act of reverence that we can bring to everywhere and everywhen. It's an invitation, bringing the world's most basic presence into view, opening our horizons and restoring our spirits. And that is what science is really there for.

Listen to the Story:
Noticing: How To Take A Walk In The Woods

_________
You can keep up with more of what Adam Frank is thinking on Facebook and on Twitter @AdamFrank4


Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Thursday, August 14 Invitation

Dear Friends,

Our Contemplative Dialogue Community of Practice will meet this month on Thursday, August 14th, 6:30 pm, at Michael's place above Trader Joe's in Hillcrest (1090 University Avenue, Loft 202B).  We ask that you arrive a few minutes before 6:30 to begin on time with a moment of silence and a full presence check in.


This has become a safe gathering place to share our experiences with one another as we learn to slow down, as we begin to notice our thought processes and emotions, and as we become more aware of ourselves and others.  We can then become more curious and explore new questions:
How do I want to show up?
How can I overcome the defensiveness that binds me?
How will I live in freedom and with choice?

Last month we reviewed the seven practices that serve as a "mindfulness checklist."  These Dialogue Skills come from the work of Chris Argyris and colleagues.  The discussion was very engaging as we reviewed these dialogue skills and talked about our experiences using and noticing Contemplative Dialogue in our lives.

Many people described moments when they suddenly realized the impact they were having on a situation.  Let's continue this discussion by focusing on Practice #6, Notice your own impact on a situation. Notice and check out the possible ways in which our different roles or communication styles affect the dialogue process. "Does my position make this awkward to talk about? I would feel awkward if you all were my boss...."  We invite you to take time over the next few days to slow down, reflect, and notice your impact -- or the impact that others may have -- on a situation.

Join us!  And remember that this isn't linear learning.  "No worries" if you haven't been to one of our gatherings before or in the past few months.  All are welcome!  Your presence impacts all of us!

Congratulations to Sandy Trybus and Mike St. John for completing their two-year Practicum!


                             


REMINDER

Please begin spreading the word that Jean Holsten will be facilitating the next San Diego 4-Day workshop: Friday, September 26, through Monday, September 29.  More details will follow.


Be well ~ Larry, Annette & Michael