Inquiry: January 8 Invitation

Just a reminder that our Contemplative Dialogue Community of Practice will gather on Thursday, January 8, at 6:30 p.m.  We invite you to arrive a little early to meet, greet and settle in!  As always, we will gather in the sacred space above Trader Joe's in Hillcrest (1090 University Ave. Loft 202B).  We will begin our practice promptly at 6:30 and conclude at 8:00.

We will continue to explore the topic of Advocacy, introduced in December, as well as learn how Inquiry helps us to listen, understand and dialogue about ideas, issues, and values that may be dear to you and me.  What great topics to end 2014 and begin 2015!  

Please take time to review the Dialogue Skills and Glossary terms highlighted in the attached document (p 19: Dialogue Skills #1 through 4;  pp 34-35: definitions of Advocacy and Inquiry).

Whether or not we make formal New Year’s resolutions, Contemplative Dialogue calls us each day to slow down and notice what is happening around us.  Questions to consider for the new year:

• How do I want to approach people?
• How do I choose to present my ideas and positions?
• How can I invite others into a dialogue over these ideas?
• How can I listen to new ideas and allow an environment of relationships and change?

We encourage you to visit the CDSD  blog (http://contemplativedialoguesd.blogspot.com).  New posts will be submitted as we explore Advocacy and Inquiry, and your comments and continued reflections are always welcome!

As 2014 ends and 2015 arrives, blessings and peace to you and your loved ones!





Namasté,

Annette, Michael and Larry

 

Advocacy: Learning to Hold a Position Lightly

What power and insight when combining advocacy with inquiry!  To be able to "invite others into your viewpoint and let them explore and try to understand it."  You mean I don't have to bash people over the head with MY way of thinking?!!

Through the movement from individual thoughts and actions to a communal dialogue, we have an opportunity to express our deepest-held values, ideas, and worldviews... and to listen to another perspective.  We can explore with others why these values and positions are important - to me, to you, and to us.  Through this process, I can be drawn into a deeper discovery of who I am in the world; I can hear about and explore the values and positions of others; and we can build relationships...together.  Just think about the possibilities of holding onto "me" and learning to become "we"!

General questions for reflection:

• When do I hold onto a position, not letting it go?  Why do I hold on?
• When do I offer my thoughts to others so we can explore and grow?
• When do I hold the ideas so lightly that the gentle breezes of community, friendship and trust allow the position to become free, to move, and to shape new realities?

Specific questions this holiday season:

• What images of Christmas do I hold onto?
• When do I explore with others our various traditions of "holiday"?
• When do these holiday celebrations become "holy-days" because we have invited the sacred within one another to bless our thoughts, memories, and well wishes?

Advocating our positions - lightly - and allowing us to explore our shared and different perspectives will broaden our understanding.  It is in this movement that we can offer "Peace and Good Will to All!"

Larry Gardepie

Advocacy: December 11 Invitation

Dear Friends,

Just a reminder that our Contemplative Dialogue Community of Practice will gather on Thursday, December 11, at 6:30 p.m.  We invite you to arrive a little early to meet, greet and settle in!  As always, we will gather in the sacred space above Trader Joe's in Hillcrest (1090 University Ave. Loft 202B).  We will begin our practice promptly at 6:30 and conclude at 8:00.

Annette and Larry will begin the discussion on “Advocacy and Inquiry”  during this December gathering, and the topic will continue into the new year.

Over the next few days, please take time to review the Dialogue Skills and Glossary terms (p 19: Dialogue Skills #1 through 4;  pp 34-35: definitions of Advocacy and Inquiry).

As we move into this holiday season, let’s be reminded to slow down, reflect, and notice:

• When do I feel rushed and stressed?
• When do I  feel peace and comfort?
• What are my filters around these holidays?
• What images do I carry with me about these holidays

Advocacy
Putting forth my position or belief, and holding it lightly.

Inquiry
Exploring another's opinion or position by asking questions and listening.



REMINDER
Please spread the word that Jean Holsten will be facilitating the next San Diego 4-Day CD workshop:  Friday, February 13, through Monday, February 16.  Annette has postcards to help get out the word, plus the SD CD website has more information:  http://www.dialoguesd.com/.  This could be the time to share the gift of Contemplative Dialogue with colleagues, friends, and family members.


Namasté,

Larry, Annette, Michael

Noticing Your Impact: It Happens... Now What?

Busyness is a fact of life!  So, too, are the impacts we have on one another.  Impact happens!

The questions I have been posing to myself recently:

• When do I not slow down to notice what is happening around me?
• Why do I not want to notice the impact I have on others?

Contemplative Dialogue provides an opportunity to balance the priorities in our lives.  And I am learning that noticing my impact on others needs to become a priority!

 

 Looking back, what do we recall from 9/11/01?  Is it the impact of terrorism caused by planes crashing, buildings collapsing, and fear gripping our lives?  Or do we remember the images of first responders risking their lives, the helping professionals saving lives, and countless people reaching out and comforting?  I wonder why we have allowed the impact of terrorism to change our lives in a harsh and negative way but the impact of goodness has had a much softer effect.  Both impacts are present, but which do I choose to remember and allow to influence my future actions?

Looking back, I recall when I attended my first 4-day CD workshop.  I was so energized by the people who had touched my life.  But soon, the busyness of my life took over and I didn't continue the self-exploration.  The immediate impact was short-lived.  It wasn't until we started meeting as a Community of Practice that I began to study, explore, and notice your impact on me.

As I move forward, I am learning that it is the interrelationships in society that challenge me to notice and grow.  The relationships are not about work and busyness but about common unity (community).  I have a choice in how I look at my impact on others and their impact on me.  It is about the journey toward self- and common-exploration.


Larry Gardepie

Noticing Your Impact: Far Reaching

Noticing Impact...

What I have noticed as I have contemplated "noticing our impact" is simply that we do impact others, whether we believe that we do, and whether we are conscious of it. Our presence in the world has far reaching consequences, regardless of the circumstances.

Circumstances vary. Our responses to them effect the impact.
How we speak to ourselves when we make a mistake...
How we react to a situation on the freeway...
How we speak to a perceived enemy or adversary...
How we represent our selves on Facebook...
How we discuss hot topics in meetings, church gatherings, and sitting at the coffee shop...
How we speak to a beloved...

What we might reconsider is the reality that who we are, what we say, and how we relate to others impacts others and ourselves. We might never know what the impact is, we just might want to be aware that an impact is in process.

Earth, water, air, light and spirit all impact our environment. We are made of these very elements. If both of these ideas are true, then wouldn't it also be true that we have far-reaching and elemental impact of all whom we encounter?

I wonder how we would walk through a day in our lives if we knew, really carried the knowing that we have an impact on the world, and that the world is impacting us. Would it change how we show up, moment-by-moment?

Michael Tompkins, IHM

Noticing Your Impact: Introduction

The goal of noticing is to observe without judgment, analysis or thought. 

Taking time to notice what you are experiencing in the present moment is a basic and fundamental dialogue skill. We are reminded to take a deep breath and to pay attention to all of our senses before we begin to engage in any important conversation. Quieting the mind and being anchored to our inner resources makes it possible to stay calm in the eye of the storm - even in the most difficult conversations.

The following questions can help us to be more open and aware in a dialogue:

• What is the temperature?
• How bright is the lighting?
• Are my hands cold?
• Are my feet warm?
• What do I smell?
• Do I notice random thoughts floating through my mind?
• Am I feeling any specific emotions?
• Am I feeling relaxed or tense?
• How does it feel to be supported by my chair?
• What sounds can I hear?

Notice Your Impact

We will continue our review of the seven practices that serve as a "mindfulness checklist."  The Dialogue Skills are the work of organizational psychologist Chris Argyris and his colleagues. Building on our own "noticing," we will focus on Practice #6: Notice your own impact on a situation. Argyris invites us to Notice and check out the possible ways in which our different roles or communication styles affect the dialogue process. Sometimes we communicate with others as though we all share the same map—and the same world—and we don't slow down and look at how our mental models and mental maps are influencing our own thinking or impacting the experience of others. We invite you to take time over the next few days to slow down, reflect, and notice your impact -- or the impact that others may have -- on a situation.
 

Noticing: Stand Still

Lost

Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you

Are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here,

And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,

Must ask permission to know it and be known. 

The forest breathes. Listen. It answers,

I have made this place for you.

If you leave it, you may come back again, saying Here.

No two trees are the same to Raven.

No two branches are the same to Wren.

If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,

You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows

Where you are. You must let it find you.

David Wagoner

I have always loved to walk in the woods. There is a world of life and spontaneity that exists all around me, independent from my knowledge and awareness. Wagoner invites us to be still, let down our guard and simply be in the presence of this other life. It's not a garden, but a forest. It's perfection is not in symmetry. Nobody takes down the ruined trunk or plants a new sapling, or straighten ups nature's mess. "Here" is a "powerful stranger" and awaits being in relationship - broken and shattered stand beside the enduring and strong. "Stand still. The forest knows where you are."

I love being given the permission to quiet my monkey mind, focus my racing heart and open wide my eyes. Our minds are engineered to seek out patterns and to assign meaning to them. When I look at a person, I don't really see that person, I only think that I do. What I am seeing is something that I have fixed in my mind. I get an impression and I hold onto that impression and I keep looking at that impression. I do this with almost everything. I am going to practice standing still and ask permission to "know it and be known." 

Posted by Annette Schmeling, RSCJ