Our Community of Practice - The Art of Practicing Questions: August 13 Invitation

Just a reminder that our Contemplative Dialogue Community of Practice will gather on Thursday, August 13th, at 6:30 p.m.  As always, we will gather in the sacred space above Trader Joe's in Hillcrest (1090 University Ave. Loft 202B).  We will begin promptly at 6:30 and conclude at 8:00.

Last month we focused on The Art of Asking Questions.  Annette presented material from Humble Inquiry: The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling (Edgar H. Schein) and The Discomfort Zone: How Leaders Turn Difficult Conversations Into Breakthroughs (Marcia Reynolds).

Contemplative Dialogue allows us to enter the moment with curiosity:

• What am I hearing that I don’t understand?
• How can I ensure that I am fully present?
• How do I encounter the Sacred Worth and Value of the other person, myself, and the dialogue that completes who we are?

From the National Gallery of Australia

 




To prepare for next week’s topic, “Our Community of Practice: The Art of Practicing Questions,” we invite you to practice using the following phrases:

• “I wonder…” or “I am curious about…”
• "I notice…”
• “I assume…"

When using these opening phrases to begin your inquiry, observe the responses you receive - from the other person and within yourself.

We look forward to your stories, your insights and our Dialogue as we ”lean in, softly” together to encounter the Sacred Within.


Namaste,

Larry and Michael

P.S.  If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact us:

• Larry  (858) 926-9204
• Michael (619) 250-6445

3 Stances: Nondefended Learning

Contemplative Dialogue consists of three interrelated "stances" or "practices":

• Contemplative Noticing or Mindfulness
• Nondefended Learning
• Nonviolence

To enlarge, click on image (From Centre for Contemplative Dialogue, Steve Wirth)

Throughout our lives, we have learned how to defend ourselves: Stand up for your rights; Protect yourself; Don't let anyone hurt you.  Now don't get me wrong: it is important to develop a healthy self-image.  But, I wonder, by building up barriers to defend and protect, am I missing out on the richness beyond those barriers or boundaries?  Have I isolated myself from the goodness of the other person and what could be achieved for the common good?

I am discovering that the practice of Contemplative Dialogue calls me to:

• Notice when I am limiting interactions by defending myself and my beliefs;
• Move toward nondefendedness, allowing freedom and choice to emerge for myself and others; and
• Seek nonviolent and compassionate ways to interact.

It is as if my defended behavior is separating me from what could be.  It also seems to limit who we could become.  Why do I try to control the outcomes?  Compete with you to win?  Not listen to the truths that you have experienced?  The Nondefeneded Learning stance asks that I burst through that crust of individualism and isolation, moving out of that dark world to experience a new life where we work together, seek new solutions, and allow the freedom of shared outcomes to emerge. 

Questions I sit with when contemplating this nondefended stance:

• What am I defending?  And why?
• Why am I protecting myself from you?
• Am I willing to become vulnerable, allowing the seeds of our shared truths to see the light and emerge into new life for both of us?

May your journey through this day be filled with many beautiful people and experiences, ones that will challenge growth and allow the freedom to become!

Larry Gardepie

3 Stances: Nonviolent Engagement

Contemplative Dialogue consists of three interrelated "stances" or "practices":

• Contemplative Noticing or Mindfulness
• Nondefended Learning
• Nonviolence

To enlarge, click on image (From Centre for Contemplative Dialogue, Steve Wirth)

At our April 9th meeting, the San Diego "Community of Practice" focused on the stance of Nonviolence.  As the topic was delivered and we discussed violence and nonviolence in our world, I wondered how often I have been "stuck" in the  cocoon that has protected me for so many years: protected me from noticing the violence - intended or not - that I inflict on myself, my loved ones, friends, and strangers; protected me from vulnerability; and protected me from exploring new worlds.  In fact, I noticed as we told our stories that evening, how many of us could retell stories of hurt and abuse.  Is nonviolence so foreign to me and to others that we don't have stories for this stance?

Watching, listening and reading the daily news, it seems as if we, as a society, may also be stuck in a cycle of violence, the retelling of stories of hurt and harm.  Just count the number of stories on the nightly news, in the newspaper, portrayed in documentaries, blogged about, tweeted and retweeted... stories that focus on humanity's anger toward itself and its environs.

Through Contemplative Dialogue, I am beginning to learn to slow down and see another world, a world of compassion - compassion towards myself and others: forgiving, understanding and forgetting past hurts.  It is true that I need to become aware of the damage I may have caused, but slowly, ever so slowly, I am called to emerge from the protective and confining coverings of the past and to enter a world that imagines new beauty and possibilities for growth and exploration, with new wings that glisten with colors unimagined in the dark, cramped cocoon.  I am learning to move beyond the limitations of the earthbound caterpillar and the confinements of the chrysalis, my earlier existences, and seek a world of nonviolent existence with you.  I am searching for new stories: of peace, not war; of healing, not harm; of joy and compassion, not sadness.

With the stances of noticing and nondefended learning, I am seeing opportunities for the common good.  I desire to stretch these new wings which are drying in the gentle breeze.  Will you join me in this exploration?  We may have some exciting new stories to tell in the near future!

Larry Gardepie

Being in Nondefended Conversations with Family: June 11 Invitation

“Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other’s eyes for an instant?”   - Henry David Thoreau


Dear Dialoguers,

Come join in this month’s Community of Practice~

In May we had a full house despite folks braving a record breaking rain storm to be there!    There was much energy around our discussion of  non defendedness and how that is one of the essentials of being in true dialogue.

The group wanted more on this topic with focus this month on being in non defended conversations with family in particular.  Since family is sometimes called “the ground zero” of dialoging contemplatively, we invite you to join in with gentleness, compassion for yourself and other, and openness to learning more about the ways in which defendedness limits our choices – limits us in so many ways.

Bring your stories, your insights, your full Presence~ remember, this is a practice.  No perfection here – only a commitment to making this a safe place to learn and journey together.

We will meet on Thursday, June 11 from 6:30 – 8:00p.  Make every effort to arrive by 6:15 ~ making time for greeting one another and being called to a mindful opening at 6:30.  As always we will gather at Michael’s place above Trader Joe’s in Hillcrest (1090 University Ave. Loft 202B)

Looking forward to being with you,

Sandy, Annette, Michael

P.S.  If you are new to the group (or a regular) and have questions, please do call!  Sandy 619-253-6342

3 Stances - Nondefended Learning: May 14 Invitation

Just a reminder that our San Diego Contemplative Dialogue Community of Practice will gather on Thursday, May 14, at 6:30 p.m.  We invite you to arrive a little early to meet, greet, and settle in!  As always, we will gather in the sacred space above Trader Joe's in Hillcrest (1090 University Avenue, Loft 202B).  We begin promptly at 6:30 and conclude at 8:00.

The topic will continue our discussion on the Contemplative Dialogue stances - focusing this month on Nondefended Learning (page 5 of the CD manual).

As a Community of Practice, we will draw on each other's stories and lessons, so your presence is always welcomed!

Edmonton, Alberta, Canada - May 6, 2015

Sacred Worth and Value: The SWAV Within

I remember when I was seven years old, our second grade teacher was preparing my class for "First Holy Communion."  As young Roman Catholics, we were being taught about the "real presence" and to genuflect before the church tabernacle since "God lived in the church."  Being second graders we took everything so literally and would wave to God or genuflect as we passed the church building on the way to school.  (Did you ever have the image of the "Mount of Olives" being a mountain of black olives?  When I taught second graders many years later, one of my students did exactly that, drew a picture of black olives heaped in a pile!)

Our teacher, to further along our second grade concept of theology, reasoned that if God lives in each of us, shouldn't we also be genuflecting to each other?  That was my first encounter with the concept of sacred worth and value: the SWAV in each of us!

Cathedrale Saint Louis Versailles Tabernacle

As I grew older, I lost sight of this beautiful lesson of bowing or genuflecting to others, but my parents tried to instill in my brothers and sisters a respect for others - even those I might not like.  It was when I began hiking, camping, and running in the country that I encountered the Sacred in the world around me.  The majestic mountains, the delicate butterfly, the magical rainbow, the mystical reflections in the lakes and streams... all were writing a story in my heart of our Creator's goodness.  No longer was God limited to the church building!  Instead, I began to re-encounter God through the world and our diverse populations.

Grand Tetons in Spring - Jerry Singleton

Now, as I am I trying to practice Contemplative Dialogue through the stances of Contemplative Mindfulness, Nondefended Learning, and Nonviolence, I am humbled by the daily projections and reflections of the Sacred Worth and Value in the people around me.  As I listen and become curious about your life stories, I recall the child-like wonder and desire to bow before you, thankful that our paths have crossed.  And, to complete the second grade theology taught so many years ago by Sr. Ann Thomas, I am moved to joy about the SWAV Within.

And so I end with Namasté, in Hinduism - "I bow to the divine in you."

Larry Gardepie

Sacred Worth and Value: March 12 Invitation

Just a reminder that our Contemplative Dialogue Community of Practice will gather on Thursday, March 12, at 6:30 p.m.  We invite you to arrive a little early to meet, greet and settle in!  As always, we will gather in the sacred space above Trader Joe's in Hillcrest (1090 University Ave. Loft 202B).  We will begin our practice promptly at 6:30 and conclude at 8:00.

The topic this month is “Sacred Worth and Value.”  During the 4-day workshop, Sacred Worth and Value is mentioned several times - as an introduction to Contemplative Dialogue and as foundations for the CD Stances.  Pages 5-7 of the CD Manual invite us to “...an attitude and practice of being attentive and open to the mystery of life around us in a way that allows us to know it more intimately, more productively, and with far richer understanding.”



We look forward to you joining in on the discussion of the Sacred Worth and Value of each person, including the SWAV in you!

We encourage you to visit the CDSD  blog:  http://contemplativedialoguesd.blogspot.com.  New posts will be submitted as we explore this topic, and your comments and continued reflections are always welcome!

Namasté,

Michael, Annette, and Larry