BLOOPERS!

CONTEMPLATIVE DIALOGUE SAN DIEGO

MAKING MISTAKES IN THE SERVICE OF LEARNING

                               


The lovely suggestion was made, at the end of the last Community of Practice, to share our BLOOPERS and our less than perfect moments of practicing Contemplative Dialogue. We have all had our fair share of hilarious, embarrassing and humbling moments. In the service of learning, we will unpack the BLOOPERS and explore another Argyris Dialogue Skill (p19 Path of Contemplative Dialogue) and hopefully enjoy an evening of laughter as we deepen our learning.

We hope to see you there!

SPECIAL GUEST!!! 
We are fortunate to have Jean Holsten join us this month. It will be fun to have her at the Community of Practice meeting and to hear her BLOOPERS first hand. Welcome Jean!!!

See you next Thursday!



You Blooper Buddies,

Larry, Annette & Michael

Inquiry: A Gentle Journey of Discovery

Combining advocacy and inquiry is an invitation to be in relationship.  Our  deepest-held values and viewpoints can be revealed and reviewed through an invitation to participate in a respectful  journey of exploration.  As I lay my thoughts and conclusions before you, I become vulnerable.  Will you be gentle with me as you ask me questions and try to understand me?  And will I, in a similar manner, listen to you and try to understand your views?

I liken this journey to the image of a child on a suspension bridge.  As you watch the child begin the journey across the bridge, it looks like there is an initial pulse-racing trepidation about stepping out, followed by a hesitancy as the bridge begins to sway.  As the child becomes accustomed to the movement and begins to feel safe, a more daring spirit emerges.  The fun begins as the child reaches the center:  the child hops up and down and actually laughs with the accomplishment of surviving!

Premar Jungle Journey (IKEA)

 As we describe our ideas, opinions, and positions, we can invite others onto the bridge by asking "What do you think?"... followed by listening, really listening, to the responses.  This deep listening can occur even as we hold onto the bridge, as it and our position begins to sway!  How vulnerable are we willing to be?  How daring a journey are we willing to take as we explore differing ways of seeing the world?

Am I willing:

• To provide the data or facts that support a conclusion?
• To share the process of how I reached that conclusion?
• To explore my filters and assumptions?
• To seek out contradictions and allow my views to be tested?

It is the journey together through this often shaky world that we arrive at a more wonderful and unexpected destination: conclusions that have been tested, proven to be trustworthy, and are more accurate than when I began alone.  As with the child, we have survived together, and we have learned how to open and evaluate the gifted beauty of each person's contributions - and hopefully, we have had fun along the way!

Larry Gardepie

Inquiry: January 8 Invitation

Just a reminder that our Contemplative Dialogue Community of Practice will gather on Thursday, January 8, at 6:30 p.m.  We invite you to arrive a little early to meet, greet and settle in!  As always, we will gather in the sacred space above Trader Joe's in Hillcrest (1090 University Ave. Loft 202B).  We will begin our practice promptly at 6:30 and conclude at 8:00.

We will continue to explore the topic of Advocacy, introduced in December, as well as learn how Inquiry helps us to listen, understand and dialogue about ideas, issues, and values that may be dear to you and me.  What great topics to end 2014 and begin 2015!  

Please take time to review the Dialogue Skills and Glossary terms highlighted in the attached document (p 19: Dialogue Skills #1 through 4;  pp 34-35: definitions of Advocacy and Inquiry).

Whether or not we make formal New Year’s resolutions, Contemplative Dialogue calls us each day to slow down and notice what is happening around us.  Questions to consider for the new year:

• How do I want to approach people?
• How do I choose to present my ideas and positions?
• How can I invite others into a dialogue over these ideas?
• How can I listen to new ideas and allow an environment of relationships and change?

We encourage you to visit the CDSD  blog (http://contemplativedialoguesd.blogspot.com).  New posts will be submitted as we explore Advocacy and Inquiry, and your comments and continued reflections are always welcome!

As 2014 ends and 2015 arrives, blessings and peace to you and your loved ones!





Namasté,

Annette, Michael and Larry

 

Advocacy: Learning to Hold a Position Lightly

What power and insight when combining advocacy with inquiry!  To be able to "invite others into your viewpoint and let them explore and try to understand it."  You mean I don't have to bash people over the head with MY way of thinking?!!

Through the movement from individual thoughts and actions to a communal dialogue, we have an opportunity to express our deepest-held values, ideas, and worldviews... and to listen to another perspective.  We can explore with others why these values and positions are important - to me, to you, and to us.  Through this process, I can be drawn into a deeper discovery of who I am in the world; I can hear about and explore the values and positions of others; and we can build relationships...together.  Just think about the possibilities of holding onto "me" and learning to become "we"!

General questions for reflection:

• When do I hold onto a position, not letting it go?  Why do I hold on?
• When do I offer my thoughts to others so we can explore and grow?
• When do I hold the ideas so lightly that the gentle breezes of community, friendship and trust allow the position to become free, to move, and to shape new realities?

Specific questions this holiday season:

• What images of Christmas do I hold onto?
• When do I explore with others our various traditions of "holiday"?
• When do these holiday celebrations become "holy-days" because we have invited the sacred within one another to bless our thoughts, memories, and well wishes?

Advocating our positions - lightly - and allowing us to explore our shared and different perspectives will broaden our understanding.  It is in this movement that we can offer "Peace and Good Will to All!"

Larry Gardepie

Advocacy: December 11 Invitation

Dear Friends,

Just a reminder that our Contemplative Dialogue Community of Practice will gather on Thursday, December 11, at 6:30 p.m.  We invite you to arrive a little early to meet, greet and settle in!  As always, we will gather in the sacred space above Trader Joe's in Hillcrest (1090 University Ave. Loft 202B).  We will begin our practice promptly at 6:30 and conclude at 8:00.

Annette and Larry will begin the discussion on “Advocacy and Inquiry”  during this December gathering, and the topic will continue into the new year.

Over the next few days, please take time to review the Dialogue Skills and Glossary terms (p 19: Dialogue Skills #1 through 4;  pp 34-35: definitions of Advocacy and Inquiry).

As we move into this holiday season, let’s be reminded to slow down, reflect, and notice:

• When do I feel rushed and stressed?
• When do I  feel peace and comfort?
• What are my filters around these holidays?
• What images do I carry with me about these holidays

Advocacy
Putting forth my position or belief, and holding it lightly.

Inquiry
Exploring another's opinion or position by asking questions and listening.



REMINDER
Please spread the word that Jean Holsten will be facilitating the next San Diego 4-Day CD workshop:  Friday, February 13, through Monday, February 16.  Annette has postcards to help get out the word, plus the SD CD website has more information:  http://www.dialoguesd.com/.  This could be the time to share the gift of Contemplative Dialogue with colleagues, friends, and family members.


Namasté,

Larry, Annette, Michael

Noticing Your Impact: It Happens... Now What?

Busyness is a fact of life!  So, too, are the impacts we have on one another.  Impact happens!

The questions I have been posing to myself recently:

• When do I not slow down to notice what is happening around me?
• Why do I not want to notice the impact I have on others?

Contemplative Dialogue provides an opportunity to balance the priorities in our lives.  And I am learning that noticing my impact on others needs to become a priority!

 

 Looking back, what do we recall from 9/11/01?  Is it the impact of terrorism caused by planes crashing, buildings collapsing, and fear gripping our lives?  Or do we remember the images of first responders risking their lives, the helping professionals saving lives, and countless people reaching out and comforting?  I wonder why we have allowed the impact of terrorism to change our lives in a harsh and negative way but the impact of goodness has had a much softer effect.  Both impacts are present, but which do I choose to remember and allow to influence my future actions?

Looking back, I recall when I attended my first 4-day CD workshop.  I was so energized by the people who had touched my life.  But soon, the busyness of my life took over and I didn't continue the self-exploration.  The immediate impact was short-lived.  It wasn't until we started meeting as a Community of Practice that I began to study, explore, and notice your impact on me.

As I move forward, I am learning that it is the interrelationships in society that challenge me to notice and grow.  The relationships are not about work and busyness but about common unity (community).  I have a choice in how I look at my impact on others and their impact on me.  It is about the journey toward self- and common-exploration.


Larry Gardepie