Awareness: September 10th Invitation

Dear Dialogue Community,

Join in our upcoming Community of Practice on Thursday, September 10th from 6:30 – 8:00p.

Last month Larry and Michael led us through a powerful experience of reflecting on where we stand with our Community of Practice.  The invitation was to be in silence and simply speak questions into the circle as they arose, with no discussion or need for answers, leading to thoughtful, deliberate and sometimes vulnerable exploration.

As we begin our 3rd year as a Community of Practice join us as we focus on Awareness as a foundational core piece to creating the shift that can come from our work together.  We DO need one another on this journey from Me to We!

 



See you on the 10th at Michael’s place above Trader Joe’s in Hillcrest (1090 University Ave. Loft 202B).


Lovingly,

Sandy

The Art of Practicing Questions: Wisps of Clouds Reshaping Who We Are

Have you ever sat quietly in a room of people with your whole conversation centered on asking questions?  Our Community of Practice last night was invited to "practice asking questions."  We focused our questions on the Community of Practice itself, with some of the questions centering on:

• Who are we?
• Where are we headed?
• Has - and how has - the Dialogue practice shaped or reshaped us?
• Plus, any other question that an individual felt comfortable to share.

The goal was simple: practice asking questions.  We were encouraged to allow the questions to sit quietly in our midst, with no intention of answering the questions or engaging in a dialogue or a discussion about the questions or topics.  It was an amazing experience!

Reflections on our time together:

• Our questions formed a conversation in and of itself.
• Many of the questions flowed together, overlapped or added to what others were asking, and yet, each question introduced a new idea or thought that enriched us.
• How often we want to "solve" a situation instead of allowing it to "just be."
• Sitting and listening to each other's questions - without having to answer the questions - created a freedom to listen more intently, outwardly and inwardly.
• This moment of inquiry created a spaciousness that was sacred, expanding beyond any one person.

I wonder if that is how clouds feel?  Wisps of individual elements in the vast sky that join together and move beyond - forming into one shape that we seem to recognize, and then moving into different forms of individual and communal awareness.  Isn't it interesting when Light plays on these wisps of gathering elements, drawing forth new beauty?!

As I go forth from last night's experience of community, I am called to practice asking questions of myself, of you, and of us.

"I wonder..."     "I am curious about..."     "I notice..."     "I assume..." 

All are ways for me to enter into the Spaciousness of Other, to understand who I am in relationship with You.

And so, I am left to wonder, what questions do you have of me?

Larry Gardepie

 

The Art of Asking Questions: The Fragile Nature of a Bubble

Do you remember as a child the magic of creating soap bubbles: exhaling softly as the bubble slowly expanded; being able to see through the bubble; and watching the bubble reshape itself as the sun reflected rainbow colors throughout?

"Bubble Man" (Sydney, Australia)

It seems that the very nature of Presence, leaning in and listening deeply to another person, is a delicate moment that is meant to be treasured in the same way: the child-like wonder as the sacredness of this "Bubble of Presence" grows and reshapes itself.

The questions I am sitting with:

• How do I - or how do we - encourage deeper awareness and protect this Sacred Moment as  Presence emerges between us?
• How do I - or we - hold lightly the wonder of this Moment as Presence forms and reshapes itself once we listen to and inquire about each others' experiences?
• How do I - and we - allow this Bubble of Presence to be set free, no longer encumbered by my story but listening to the stories that we are sharing, watching as the magical breezes of the Sacred Moment send our Presence heavenward?

The Art of Asking Questions then becomes the ability to sense this emerging Presence, and inquire gently into what we see and hear, what we think we understand or don't, and what we seek to discover and anticipate - without conclusions in place.  My experience of life grows as I seek to ask questions and as I learn to listen to your responses with a wonder and a freedom to hear.

Each day becomes an invitation to cherish my bubble (my story which protects) while, at the same time, choosing to ask questions which expand my awareness and marveling at the Bubble (Our Stories) of whom we have become... together!


Let us bubble with possibilities for our times together!

Larry

Our Community of Practice - The Art of Practicing Questions: August 13 Invitation

Just a reminder that our Contemplative Dialogue Community of Practice will gather on Thursday, August 13th, at 6:30 p.m.  As always, we will gather in the sacred space above Trader Joe's in Hillcrest (1090 University Ave. Loft 202B).  We will begin promptly at 6:30 and conclude at 8:00.

Last month we focused on The Art of Asking Questions.  Annette presented material from Humble Inquiry: The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling (Edgar H. Schein) and The Discomfort Zone: How Leaders Turn Difficult Conversations Into Breakthroughs (Marcia Reynolds).

Contemplative Dialogue allows us to enter the moment with curiosity:

• What am I hearing that I don’t understand?
• How can I ensure that I am fully present?
• How do I encounter the Sacred Worth and Value of the other person, myself, and the dialogue that completes who we are?

From the National Gallery of Australia

 




To prepare for next week’s topic, “Our Community of Practice: The Art of Practicing Questions,” we invite you to practice using the following phrases:

• “I wonder…” or “I am curious about…”
• "I notice…”
• “I assume…"

When using these opening phrases to begin your inquiry, observe the responses you receive - from the other person and within yourself.

We look forward to your stories, your insights and our Dialogue as we ”lean in, softly” together to encounter the Sacred Within.


Namaste,

Larry and Michael

P.S.  If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact us:

• Larry  (858) 926-9204
• Michael (619) 250-6445

3 Stances: Nondefended Learning

Contemplative Dialogue consists of three interrelated "stances" or "practices":

• Contemplative Noticing or Mindfulness
• Nondefended Learning
• Nonviolence

To enlarge, click on image (From Centre for Contemplative Dialogue, Steve Wirth)

Throughout our lives, we have learned how to defend ourselves: Stand up for your rights; Protect yourself; Don't let anyone hurt you.  Now don't get me wrong: it is important to develop a healthy self-image.  But, I wonder, by building up barriers to defend and protect, am I missing out on the richness beyond those barriers or boundaries?  Have I isolated myself from the goodness of the other person and what could be achieved for the common good?

I am discovering that the practice of Contemplative Dialogue calls me to:

• Notice when I am limiting interactions by defending myself and my beliefs;
• Move toward nondefendedness, allowing freedom and choice to emerge for myself and others; and
• Seek nonviolent and compassionate ways to interact.

It is as if my defended behavior is separating me from what could be.  It also seems to limit who we could become.  Why do I try to control the outcomes?  Compete with you to win?  Not listen to the truths that you have experienced?  The Nondefeneded Learning stance asks that I burst through that crust of individualism and isolation, moving out of that dark world to experience a new life where we work together, seek new solutions, and allow the freedom of shared outcomes to emerge. 

Questions I sit with when contemplating this nondefended stance:

• What am I defending?  And why?
• Why am I protecting myself from you?
• Am I willing to become vulnerable, allowing the seeds of our shared truths to see the light and emerge into new life for both of us?

May your journey through this day be filled with many beautiful people and experiences, ones that will challenge growth and allow the freedom to become!

Larry Gardepie

3 Stances: Nonviolent Engagement

Contemplative Dialogue consists of three interrelated "stances" or "practices":

• Contemplative Noticing or Mindfulness
• Nondefended Learning
• Nonviolence

To enlarge, click on image (From Centre for Contemplative Dialogue, Steve Wirth)

At our April 9th meeting, the San Diego "Community of Practice" focused on the stance of Nonviolence.  As the topic was delivered and we discussed violence and nonviolence in our world, I wondered how often I have been "stuck" in the  cocoon that has protected me for so many years: protected me from noticing the violence - intended or not - that I inflict on myself, my loved ones, friends, and strangers; protected me from vulnerability; and protected me from exploring new worlds.  In fact, I noticed as we told our stories that evening, how many of us could retell stories of hurt and abuse.  Is nonviolence so foreign to me and to others that we don't have stories for this stance?

Watching, listening and reading the daily news, it seems as if we, as a society, may also be stuck in a cycle of violence, the retelling of stories of hurt and harm.  Just count the number of stories on the nightly news, in the newspaper, portrayed in documentaries, blogged about, tweeted and retweeted... stories that focus on humanity's anger toward itself and its environs.

Through Contemplative Dialogue, I am beginning to learn to slow down and see another world, a world of compassion - compassion towards myself and others: forgiving, understanding and forgetting past hurts.  It is true that I need to become aware of the damage I may have caused, but slowly, ever so slowly, I am called to emerge from the protective and confining coverings of the past and to enter a world that imagines new beauty and possibilities for growth and exploration, with new wings that glisten with colors unimagined in the dark, cramped cocoon.  I am learning to move beyond the limitations of the earthbound caterpillar and the confinements of the chrysalis, my earlier existences, and seek a world of nonviolent existence with you.  I am searching for new stories: of peace, not war; of healing, not harm; of joy and compassion, not sadness.

With the stances of noticing and nondefended learning, I am seeing opportunities for the common good.  I desire to stretch these new wings which are drying in the gentle breeze.  Will you join me in this exploration?  We may have some exciting new stories to tell in the near future!

Larry Gardepie

Being in Nondefended Conversations with Family: June 11 Invitation

“Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other’s eyes for an instant?”   - Henry David Thoreau


Dear Dialoguers,

Come join in this month’s Community of Practice~

In May we had a full house despite folks braving a record breaking rain storm to be there!    There was much energy around our discussion of  non defendedness and how that is one of the essentials of being in true dialogue.

The group wanted more on this topic with focus this month on being in non defended conversations with family in particular.  Since family is sometimes called “the ground zero” of dialoging contemplatively, we invite you to join in with gentleness, compassion for yourself and other, and openness to learning more about the ways in which defendedness limits our choices – limits us in so many ways.

Bring your stories, your insights, your full Presence~ remember, this is a practice.  No perfection here – only a commitment to making this a safe place to learn and journey together.

We will meet on Thursday, June 11 from 6:30 – 8:00p.  Make every effort to arrive by 6:15 ~ making time for greeting one another and being called to a mindful opening at 6:30.  As always we will gather at Michael’s place above Trader Joe’s in Hillcrest (1090 University Ave. Loft 202B)

Looking forward to being with you,

Sandy, Annette, Michael

P.S.  If you are new to the group (or a regular) and have questions, please do call!  Sandy 619-253-6342